One of my most ardent followers admonished me back channel because I had not posted in a month. I guess this is more than a place to think in language, there is a certain responsibility to it. The lesson of discipline is one of the ones I am most incorporating at this time. And a responsibility to my readers.
I am learning more about my attention inconsistencies and my compulsive nature, how to make these aspects of myself tools, learning how to make them work for me rather than act as barriers and speed bumps.
This was the first summer I have had to myself to do pretty much what I want in 30 years or so. I started my first job 39 years ago this past summer. Most summers since then, I have had to work in some form. This summer I had the ability:
- to sort out a lot on the interior world,
- to notice the world with patient consciousness,
- to start the serious organization of all of the chaos and clutter around me,
- to journal regularly,
- to laugh,
- to walk,
- to read for pleasure,
- to listen to the cicada and watch the birds at the feeders for hours,
- to pull weeds,
- to sniff as the Stargazer lilies beg for attention...
...all this and more. I realized that, in my life as a poet and human, this is my work now. There was a moment in which I recognized that I finally understand the premise of being in the moment. I pray that I never lose this awareness. It is where I find my peace.
The past year has been one of the most significant and growthful years of my life. I reconnected with who I truly am. I examined my intention in all things, and I did a critical review of my work as a teaching artist. I rested and reflected on my year past and now I am readying for the upcoming school year. I will return to classrooms with teachers whom I admire and with whom I love working. I will meet new teachers and students. I will see students I know who have had a year's worth of development since last school year. I look forward to how much I will grow again this year.
